Playing For Real

Yes. Next question.

No, because if there was an uprising there, oil prices would skyrocket!

“These United States are happy to entertain applications for territoriality status or statehood from any region of peoples who desire to pledge allegiance to the Constitution of these United States, as amended. Such an application will be considered with all diligence and care by the chosen representatives of the People of these United States, as provided by law. The Federal Government of these United States is tasked with providing for the common defense of the People of the various States, and will do so with all necessary and legitimate force subject to the laws of this Nation, including the defense of private shipping in international waters and of private citizens legitimately traveling abroad as provided for by international treaties. Beyond these duties, no government representative of these United States has any legitimate, public, opinion regarding the activities of any Foreign government nor regarding the aspirations or activities of any Foreign peoples. Let me take this opportunity to express unequivocally that no such statement made by any member of this government is at all legitimate and as Chief Executive I hereby declare that any such statement has no standing and is not the legitimate policy of this administration. As President, I will say further only that I reaffirm my oath to protect and defend the Constitution. On a related point, I would like to suggest that current events illustrate clearly that it is the responsibility of every good citizen to protect and defend the rule of law, whether that rule of law is threatened by a tyrannical dictator or by mob rioting and violence. Where the People are defenseless the leviathan of tyranny soon rears its ugly head. I strongly encourage all Americans in every State to maintain and train regularly with firearms. I have asked key members of Congress to draft legislation which would make purchases of rifle-caliber ammunition tax-deductible. Furthermore, it is the policy of this administration to grant an immediate executive pardon to anyone with no other felony record who is convicted of violating any law against possession of firearms, which laws this administration recognizes and will always recognize as completely unconstitutional. It is not within the Powers of the Chief Executive to declare laws unconstitutional, but the Presidency does afford the privilege of pardoning those convicted unjustly. Finally, I I invite all members of Congress and the media to join me at the next Appleseed marksmanship event in the D.C. area, and I apologize in advance to all the other attendees for the necessary inconvenience caused by my presence at the event as President. I have asked the Secretary of Defense to coordinate with members of our Armed Forces to provide suitable range space and accommodations for attendees. Following the event I will be holding a two-hour, private conference for all attendees who pass the AQT during the event and for any attendees under the age of 18 who are accompanied by a parent or guardian. I have no comment regarding the rumors that the Vice President and I have challenged each other to a one minute, bolt-action shooting competition at the close of the event, with the winner making a substantial charitable contribution to the loser’s alma mater.”