There is strategy involved in giving and interpreting compliments. Let’s say you hear someone play a difficult –but not too difficult– piece on the piano, and she plays it well. Is it a compliment if you tell her she played it beautifully?
That depends. You would not be impressed by the not-so-difficult piece if you knew that she was an outstanding pianist. So if you tell her you are impressed, then you are telling her that you don’t think she is an outstanding pianist. And if she is, or aspires to be, an outstanding pianist, then your attempted compliment is in fact an insult.
This means that, in most cases, the best way to compliment the highly accomplished is not to offer any compliment at all. This conveys that all of her fine accomplishments are exactly what you expected of her. But, do wait for when she really outdoes herself and then tell her so. You don’t want her to think that you are someone who just never gives compliments. Once that is taken care of, she will know how to properly interpret your usual silence.
In the world of blogs, when you comment on an article on another blog, it is usually a nice compliment to provide a link to the original post. This is a compliment because it tells your readers that the other blog is worth visiting and reading. But you may have noticed that discussions of the really well-known blogs don’t come with links. For example, when I comment on an article posted at a blog like Marginal Revolution, I usually write merely “via MR, …” with no link.
That’s the best way to compliment a blog that is, or aspires to be, really well-known. It proves that you know that your readers already know the blog in question, know how to get there, and indeed have probably already read and pondered the article being discussed.

10 comments
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August 11, 2009 at 7:47 am
Matthias
Dear Jeff,
Especially with respect to the pianist, this is a very interesting observation. However, with respect to referring to an article in another blog, I’m wondering whether the same argument should be used for academic articles: listing the article with specific publication details in the bibliography is just insinuating that your readers don’t know the article already.
The way I see it in academics is that you want to make absolutely clear where you got your information from (as long as it’s someone else’s discovery) and that interested readers can effortlessly find it. That’s also the way I thought about referring to other blogs: by providing a link one gets rid of any ambiguity in citing someone else’s opinion.
August 12, 2009 at 3:31 pm
jeff
matthias, yes most of the time one provides a link simply as a courtesy to the reader, just as with academic citations. note however, that in academia, when a result or concept has become mainstream enough, it is no longer necessary to give a citation. it follows that not giving a citation for a result which is well-known, but not yet commonly-known, is a high compliment.
August 11, 2009 at 8:48 am
Matt
See Nietzsche for a generalization of this idea to all social interaction. He wrote a lot about what the outward recognition of another’s qualities say about the recognizer’s true feelings. It works for insults too. If A insults B, it is a sign that at least A respects B enough to be one worthy of insults.
August 11, 2009 at 9:07 am
michael webster
So all the silent or non-existent comments on this blog are compliments?
August 12, 2009 at 3:31 pm
jeff
how dare you insult me with your non-silence.
August 12, 2009 at 3:44 pm
michael webster
@Jeff, let me apologize for my non-silent insult. But, look at the millions, no billions of silent compliments from your admirers who didn’t post a comment.
August 11, 2009 at 10:01 am
Jon
Is it alarming that Jeff makes compliments based on his perception of status, rather than his appreciation?
August 11, 2009 at 3:07 pm
michael webster
@Jon, who writes: “Is it alarming that Jeff makes compliments based on his perception of status?”
I think that you only get a compliment from Jeff if the perception of his status qua commentator is common knowledge. I say nothing about the silence that will follow.
August 11, 2009 at 7:13 pm
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